Doubt as Faith and Measured Optimism for the Day
I created a personal policy for this site a while back that was to listen to my mother and if I couldn't think of something nice to say, shut the heck up. General frustration with a couple of projects, lack of sleeping well and needing to sort through some stuff that's just not important has led to a multi-day silence.
That's been amplified by having my father-in-law staying with us from Saturday until tomorrow. Let me stress that I am *not* complaining about that. He had back surgery on Friday and is staying with us to recover and I'm *glad* to be doing it. He's getting better and no longer has the shooting pain in his hips and legs. It's funny how a bone shard pinching a nerve can lead to problems.
However, it does change the routine enough to throw a few things out of whack for a few days. If it was for months, we'd probably just evolve a new routine and settle in. Anyway.
That's why this morning was a refreshing tipping back into balance. I finally got back into my normal (or what had been becoming my normal) morning routine this morning.
I got up at 5:00, started my MP3 podcast sync, threw on my Chuck Taylors and my Saints baseball cap, grabbed the willing dog (for some reason Rowdy has been running and hiding when the idea of a walk comes up) and headed out for my morning walk. I re-listened to parts of The History of Doubt from Speaking of Faith and made a note to grab a copy of the book mentioned.
All of my spiritual/philosophical/religious experiences and interactions have, I've realized recently, been framed entirely by active doubt. As a kid in Sunday school, I always sided with Thomas as my favorite apostle. The podcast kind of drew my personal experience together and framed it nicely.
45 minutes later, I retured to make a stack of pancakes (Hungry Jack Light and Fluffy for the curious) for myself and am now writing this with the scent of sugar free, fake maple syrup still hanging in the air. Last night, I crossed a couple of items off of my list which make going in to the office today a much more reasonable prospect. Given the good start to the day, I'm approaching the rest with a bit of measured optimism.
